Back in 2017 -getting closer

Returning from a long holiday with a ring people have thousands of questions. How did he do it? Where? When? What happened then? Did he go on his knee? Did he ask your father in advance? Did you set up a date?

We set the date and started planning and while being happier than ever I was also the most afraid of the future I’ve ever been. There is this thing when you move abroad: you have at least two homes. All of a sudden you might feel homesick in your very own kitchen just because of a smell that reminds you of the other kitchen. When you speak two or more languages in your daily life, you notice, that you are always only a half. You can translate things in your head and laugh about them, but not really share it with anyone. Some of the best jokes in your head are a mixture of two languages or something you just understood in your new culture, but no one else finds it funny. And when someone asks you to marry him, you freak out about all the expectations you set to yourself of being a good German wife. Or a good Finnish wife. Or a good mixture. Or even something. And this roller coaster kept me awake at nights for quite a while.

In September I walked down the aisle my dad on my side and the Husband standing in the front of the little Finnish seamen church. In that very moment the pressure and fear of the future that all just flushed away. Seeing the man I see every morning hurrying out of the door with a little tooth paste on his cheek waiting for me to arrive to him while my sister is singing a love song made me realize, that life can turn into whatever we want. It does not have to be Hamburg, Stoories, dogs or kids, and those decisions we would be making together anyway, married or not. The Husband was obviously even more nervous than I was and somehow it calmed me down.

We had a beautiful exceptional wedding. Three languages, friends and family from all around and the world in the old Energy Bunker in Wilhelmsburg. The food was delicious and the view through the rain amazing. I wouldn’t change a second of it.

A couple of days after the wedding my professional career got a little turn. I sat down with my boss to talk about a project and while sharing the responsibilities and tasks she offers me a partnership. I’m deeply honoured by the offer and for the next half a year we are both very excited on starting something new, getting bigger and getting more professional. Then, without going to any detail, a half a year later we have several disagreements and only compromise about the future, so we call off the deal and go both on our own. And this is where Ottilia Design begins.

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